All i want for christmas is syphilis....

THE TOP ENGLISH PARTY

To be an english teacher you must have certain qualities. The first quality and in my opinion the most important, is to be a little bit crazy. Something it has taken me years to become of course. To keep a class interested in what your talking about requires you to be interesting enough to keep their attention. My style of teaching has always been a laid back approach. None of this stricked question, question, question shit. Quite often the students themselves go way off topic and everything from conversations to full on arguements break out. Every student has their own personality and opinion, its the inclusion of these traits i try to bring out of them. Because if they discuss something they passionatly believe in, their english improves by ten fold. Of course i have students id love to smack around the face with a wet fish, but i cannot judge them for their misguided ways.


About 2 weeks ago we had our first ever christmas party for the staff at work. Earlier in the day i had been shopping with my good friend magda for some new clothes. A word of warning must be made here, never let magda loose with your credit card, she was in dream-land buying clothes with someone elses money. Though to be fair, i enjoyed the experience very much, and i badly needed new clothes. So with me dressed up in my new look fashion, i promptly headed for our school with vodka in hand. The first part of the night was quite boring really. The reason for this was the lack of alcohol in our bodies, something i was trying to correct. But in the beginning it was only me and adam who were getting our swally. All the usual suspects turned up, and with time we were cooking up a right storm. Its suprising how much more people relaxed when the boss had left. Thing were moving on with the introduction of playing american football with a water-melon, which abruptly ended with me getting a touch down in the staff room by smashing the poor old melon apart on the floor. By this time everybody had fallen into the over-indulgence of alcohol trap. So searching for new ways of fun, it was the time to teach an age old classic to the Poles, the mighty game of THUMB-WARS. With me doing my impression of an american boxing commentor, the first battle was drawn up. Mikey "the silver-fox" howard versus Magda "speed junkie" filak. The game was tense, starting with each player sizing each other up, growls could be heard, words were spoken, then the battle commenced. It was a tough affair, though mikey finally beat magda over 3 rounds. Gutted, magda went to her chair clearly in distress. Only for Anna to take her place in the final. Again the tension was as thick as a tramps sperm donation cup. Both mikey and anna had to pulled off each other, i had to break them up on many occasion. i must stress that some words said between them even made me blush. With the battle in full flow, it came down to a tie-breaker in the 3rd round. Like a scene from braveheart, the battle was full of passion, guts and determination. Though technically not very impressive. Mikey fought hard enough to be crowned the TOP ENGLISH thumb war champion. Something i expect to take off him next time...